Island Life, Word Birds & Process.
It had to happen. Even Joanne Harris & Maggie O’Farrell have been recipients of the death-star review. A quick search also throws up the likes of Louise Beech & Amanda Jennings. (I know, how very dare they???) And even the blessed Mrs Woolf doesn’t escape. Twenty-one 1* reviews for Mrs Dalloway!
You kinda know it’s coming. When it does mind, when it’s laced with stupid, it takes you aback.
“One dimensional characters, poorly written. Could have been so much better. I couldn’t wait for it to end.”
Which does of course beg the question, ‘Didn’t you realise you were allowed to stop reading?’ In the spirit of being a good loser, I posted the review on FB. The resulting comments go to show what a lovely gang I hang out with.
“Join the Jane Austen club.”
“Pish & Nonsense.”
“You’ve got to admire the reviewer’s Stoicism. It can’t have been easy… Almost like reading is an activity that happens *to* someone.”
“All hail the one star review. You’ve arrived.”
“You aren’t an author until you get a one star review.”
“If I hadn’t read Ghostbird already I would buy it on the “strength” of that review!”
And my particular favourite: “Couldn’t wait for it to end” ???? Don’t read it then you numpty!”
These are just a selection. You get the picture. By close of day, I’d ended up with another lovely review, several promises of reviews, two sales & some of the funniest exchanges I’ve had on FB for weeks. So cheers, whoever you are, poor woman nailed to your chair until the bitter end, you’ve done me a massive favour. I’m in good company; I’m on another list with some of my literary sheroes!
As my daughter said just now, ‘Bloody awful movie last night, Mum, couldn’t wait for it to be over.’