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Making it up as I go along

Making it up as I go along

Tag Archives: Ghostbird

Fear & Loathing via Abergavenny

14 Sunday May 2017

Posted by Carol Lovekin in Uncategorized

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Ghostbird, NWR, Public speaking

Island Life, Word Birds & Process

I could just as easily call this post, ‘Unaccustomed as I am to Public Speaking’ only it’s been done before &, unexpectedly, I find it’s no longer true.

Yesterday’s event, hosted by the National Women’s Register: NWR, was sandwiched between two trying journeys. Deciding to eschew the motorway in favour of the prettier route, I got hideously lost in Abergavenny. No disrespect, pretty town, but honestly – road signs? Getting lost in Abergavenny was only the beginning. Further on, having mislaid a small but crucial bit of the A48 (which I suspect doesn’t in fact exist), having missed A Vital Exit & finding myself on the motorway heading for London (don’t ask) I then drove for twelve miles trying not to cry. My inner stroppy bitch bullied me into getting a grip & finally I made it to the venue, the très posh Coldra Court Hotel, at reception, doing a passable impression of a red-faced, deranged bag lady.

(The going home bit was via the motorway & all can say about that is, thank goodness & pretty is as pretty does…)

The event was billed as A Celebration of Women’s Writing & my brief was to talk about my writing, road to publication & the story behind the story of Ghostbird. It was almost certainly The Horrid Journey that brought out the Fear again. A smaller than expected audience meant close scrutiny & nowhere to hide. Bring on the butterflies…

NWR

And yet…

It was fine. I was fine. I enjoyed myself & to my surprise found the Q & A session, which I had dreaded, easy. These things really are just conversations. Some delightful & gratifying feedback was the icing on the cake. When your reader gets you, it makes everything about the writing worth it.

This public speaking lark isn’t so scary after all. Not as scary as the route through Abergavenny at any rate…

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Although I missed the talks by Judith Barrow & Bethan Darwin (sister Honno authors) I did get to hear the redoubtable & feisty Lleucu Seincyn, CEO from Literature Wales. Her passion & determination to make girls visible in literature made me want to punch the air.

And Penny Thomas from Firefly Press & Seren Books gave a fascinating talk on her experiences as a publisher. Firefly is the brainchild of Penny & editor, Janet Thomas. If you are looking for classy books for 8-11 year-olds, look no further!

Special thanks to Natalie Punter, the organiser of the event for her efficiency & kindness. To everyone who attended, contributed & took part, thanks to you too. Without an audience, without readers & book-buyers, writers, literally, are lost.

WRITING TAKE ME FAR

Notions of story, hiraeth & heart’s home

07 Sunday May 2017

Posted by Carol Lovekin in Uncategorized

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

Blodeuwedd, Dylan Thomas, Extract, Ghostbird, Mythology, Snow Sisters

Island Life, Word Birds & Process

My definition of my nationality, if anyone asks, is ‘Irish blood, Welsh heart.’ Like most British people I’m a hybrid, made from two kinds of Celt & a bit of Warwickshire. My mother was from Northern Ireland, a nurse, singer & classically trained pianist; my father was half-Southern Irish with a streak of English & an ability to play the blues piano by ear. I grew up with love, boundaries, music & stories. Many of the latter were read to me by my mum, some of them I imagined. (I made up stories for my sister & to this day, she still hasn’t forgiven me for failing to finish the saga of The Veiled Lady.)

Lots of the stories my daddy told me were from mythology. I loved them all & still do. Legends & folklore inform more contemporary fiction than we realise. I borrowed Blodeuwedd’s story from the Mabinogion for Ghostbird. I’m conjuring my version of the selkie legend for my third book & for my fourth, writing one based on my favourite folktale, The Red Shoes.

Snow Sisters, my second novel, due out in September, is the only one of my books without an obvious myth running through it. What it does have is a strong link to a different kind of Welsh mythos. (This isn’t even the right word; it’s the best I can come up with.) I’ve lived in Wales long enough to understand the notion of hiraeth: the ineffable longing for home, almost impossible to translate or put into words. It’s a feeling more than a descriptor, an occasional sense of grief; a disconnect surrounding your heart like a whispered poem evoking the emotion of separation, or perhaps the absence of presence. At its most emotive & fundamental, hiraeth is a longing for the unattainable, possibly existing only in one’s imagination.

In Snow Sisters, in lieu of a myth, I invoke my interpretation of hiraeth as experienced by Verity & Meredith Price, two young girls uprooted by their mother & transported to London, but whose sense of themselves is irrevocably connected to their hearts’ home in Wales.

Curled into her sister’s warmth, Meredith dreamed of the blue garden, the moths and the world beyond the veil, and that she was finally taken by the Fae. In her place they left a well-behaved changeling child for her mother to take to London.
When she woke, she pinched her arm and knew her wish hadn’t worked.

The Welsh own hiraeth as part of their identity – like a blood tie or an inherited name. Like dragons, Tom Jones’ green grass of home or a Dylan Thomas poem. And laced with pathos though it is, hiraeth can be droll & joyful too.

‘If there’s a word for it,’ wrote the poet, Jo Bell, ‘it sounds like laughter.’

I like that. The idea that come what may & however far from heart’s home we travel; we sense a link like a note of laughter, even if we have a tear in our eye & a lump in our throat.

I’ll leave the last words to Dylan Thomas…

‘Time held me green and dying
Though I sang in my chains like the sea
.

~ Fern Hill

Dylan-Thomas-2-426x279

Writing & reading the magic

26 Sunday Mar 2017

Posted by Carol Lovekin in Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Extract, Ghostbird, Writing

Island Life, Word Birds & Process

Received wisdom has it we ought to write about what we know. Perhaps. Then again, I know a lot about shoes & cake but other than the odd aside, have no desire to write stories about either of these things.

I think it’s less about writing what we know & more about writing the kind of stories we want to read. The books I’m drawn to are the ones in which enchantment glances off the shoulder of reality; where authentic moments of wonder can make me believe in the possibility of magic. I’m not talking about the kind that comes wearing a pointy hat or casting a spell. Real magic isn’t only in the Mystery, it’s in the everyday, in the small things we often miss because we’re too busy to notice. It’s in relationships & families, in joy, sadness & silence. Magic keeps secrets, it’s old & wise & if we want it we have to listen for it. If we need it, it will hear us.

Towards the end of Ghostbird, my central character, Cadi Hopkins, listens hard. She has little choice. Unless she trusts, the past can’t be forgiven or healed. She’s young & inexperienced but she’s brave & the granddaughter of a witchwoman.

When a girl of fourteen has longed for something for most of her life, when the sense of it clings like dust to the edge of every waking thought, it’s possible old magic will hear her.

Who knows what’s real? I only ever ask my reader to believe in the possibility that a suspension of her disbelief might be worth the gamble. And when I pick up a book in which the author suggests magic might be afoot, I approach it in the same way.

Toni Morrison said it most elegantly.

tm

Happy reading, wherever the magic takes you.

Begin at the beginning

01 Sunday Jan 2017

Posted by Carol Lovekin in Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Drafts, Editing, Epigrams, First Lines, Ghostbird, Mise en Abîme, Quotations, Reviews, Writers, Writing

Island Life, Word Birds & Process

onceuponatime

Once upon a time is the place where most stories begin. The writer will rarely know for certain where her latest story came from, only that it did. The initial trace will have landed in the bit of her brain marked ‘story.’ From there, if the thing has wheels, in the excitement, that first spark may get forgotten; a once upon a moment lost in the thrill of the story taking shape. It doesn’t matter. It is what it was: a glimmer, a dream or possibly a first line – & even that’s likely to get side-lined.

My favourite first line was written by the immaculate Dodie Smith in I Capture the Castle – ‘I write this sitting in the kitchen sink.’ The image conjured is perfect & instantly the reader wants to know where, what, when & why.

i-capture-the-castle

Our original first lines rarely make it to the final cut – editors often see to that – it’s their job. In the event they don’t make us change it, we have almost always done so ourselves, many times.

First lines are the bane of a writer’s life because readers devour them & we have to get them right. Like a cover or a blurb, a memorable one can mean the difference between a sale and a rejection. I always imagine my first lines are pretty cool. I’m often wrong & have a good laugh/wry smile when the real one emerges.

The story I’m currently working on is in third draft. It began with some pretentious attempt as a series of mise en abîme which, by the second draft, were rejected in favour of a simple epigram. Although I liked it – I’m fond of epigrams – by the current draft I recognised these few lines worked better within the narrative. (What I now have is a secret.)

So far mind, the beginning of chapter one hasn’t changed. As first lines go it’s pretty ordinary – ten words, none of them startling or uppity. They do set the scene. I hope I get to keep them. And out of the blue, a few days ago the word birds dropped by with the first line of Book 4. It’s lush.

Onward & sideways!

Oh yes, while you’re here, I wish you a joyous 2017. If you read Ghostbird, thank you. If you reviewed it, I adore you. If you are writing your own story – may the New Year gift you a cooperative Muse, a fabulous first line & this little hackneyed, clichéd, perfect mantra.

just-write-best-apps-for-distraction-free-productive-writing_x960

The morning after…

11 Sunday Dec 2016

Posted by Carol Lovekin in Uncategorized

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

Blodeuwedd, Book Fair, Facebook, Ghostbird, Llandeilo, Photographs, Public speaking, Sky, Word Birds

Island Life, Word Birds & Process #28

On Facebook I’ve been boring the pants off people with photographs of the view from my aerie. The sky is never the same & some mornings too marvellous not to share: wide Welsh skies festooned with wonder.

Yesterday I attended a book fair in Llandeilo – a day of delights which I’ll expand on (in not too much detail – fear not) shortly. This morning, having slept late, I woke to this view which perfectly encapsulates why there are days when I truly feel as if I’m living on an island.

ceredigion-20161211-00675-copy

No sign of the hills, only that perfect hint of the rising sun & a sense that the trees hovering in the mist might at any moment disappear.

(As for the rest, the process is in stasis as I wait … the word birds do their best, nagging me each morning with whispered pencil songs for book three…)

The book fair was a joyous occasion, not least because in this part of Wales the book writing community is tight. Many of us know each other well; these events are a gathering of supportive friends & colleagues as much as anything. I shared space with two established Honno authors who made me feel like one of the gang, sold books to lovely people & did a reading from Ghostbird to a receptive audience.

As well as catching up with good people, what I appreciate about these affairs is the opportunity to talk about my work & to network. I was approached by someone to give a talk in the spring related to the myth of Blodeuwedd. Having discovered I genuinely enjoy ‘performing’ I’m chuffed to buttons to be asked.

img-20161210-00660

After ten months as a published author, I’m finally beginning to feel as if I belong.

img-20161210-00670

The private face of the public writer

20 Sunday Nov 2016

Posted by Carol Lovekin in Uncategorized

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Feminism, Ghostbird, Quotations, Social Media, Virginia Woolf, Writing

Island Life, Word Birds & Process #26

‘If one is to deal with people on a large scale,’ Virginia Woolf said, ‘and say what one thinks, how can one avoid melancholy?’

virginia-w

‘Melancholy’ is laying it on a bit thick although I take her point. If I had a pound for every time I’ve held my fire on social media, I’d be that proverbially rich woman. And never mind melancholic, I’d be in state of permanent fury. Since I’ve been published, not saying what I think had become an unexpected thing for me.

It’s a conflict of interests, frankly.

Promoting oneself as a writer via social media is a good way to get noticed. I appreciate my responsibility to my book and to my wonderful publisher, and do the best I can. It’s a fine line though – however small your platform, it’s too easy to allow yourself to be enticed into controversy, which may possibly do your book no good at all.

In days of yore I was vocally political and a committed activist. (Feminism has a great deal to thank the second wave for. You’re welcome.) It’s a different world now and online I’m choosing to take a back seat. It doesn’t mean my heart isn’t still on raging fire.

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Where social media is concerned I keep my distance from controvosy and avoid saying what I really think a lot. Not that it matters – I may have had a book published, I’m not JK Rowling – who cares what I think anyway? Well, that’s the point – people do (often they’re weird people) and it’s easy to get caught up in all sorts of scary malarkey.

Forty-eight people subscribe to this blog. Small-fry in the big old blogosphere scheme of things, but in my world, that’s a lot of people reading what I have to say – about anything. I’m not far off nine hundred Twitter followers too. I like Twitter; it’s been good to me in terms of promoting Ghostbird even though I know I don’t use it to its fullest capacity. I can’t; I don’t have time. And to be honest, if I was on it like a leech, day after day, I’d get no work done and have nothing to promote anyway. Facebook is fun and most of the time I like it too. Thus far I’ve avoided anything contentious, and managed to extricate myself from the odd contretemps by being polite.

For a woman who likes the sound of her own voice, I’m a very private person. I keep 99% of my personal life to myself. And this is the nub of the thing. I don’t know if there’s a line, and if there is, where it is. I think we draw our own and as a writer, I choose to walk a relatively gentle one. I stick to posts about writing and swimming and the view from my aerie. Don’t be fooled though – my private face often has its eyes narrowed and its lips pursed in case a snarky, radical, barbed comment is required.

toni-morrison-if-you-surrender-to-the-wind-you-can-ride-it

‘If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it.’
~Toni Morrison

A draft is a half-formed thing

16 Sunday Oct 2016

Posted by Carol Lovekin in Uncategorized

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Books, Drafts, Editing, Editor, Ghostbird, Honno, Ideas, Quotations, Reading, Snow Sisters, Writers, Writing, Writing Group

Island Life, Word Birds & Process #24

Earlier in the week my writing group sister & I were discussing a quotation she’d come across. Anyone who knows me knows my take on these things. The more ‘inspirational’ they are the less likely I am to be enamoured. This one is different. It’s less inspirational & more common sense. We were in agreement.

“Hard writing makes easy reading. Easy writing makes hard reading.”

Although the quote has been officially credited to William Knowlton Zinsser, an American writer, literary critic, editor & teacher, it’s also been attributed to Ernest Hemingway. It hardly matters. For the purposes of making my point, I’m happy to have Hemingway on my side too. Neither writer meant ‘easy’ as in ‘peasy’ – they meant that when a book is easy to read the words flow, the eye is mesmerised; the pages turn as if by remote control because the whole is the the result of dedicated hard work, often  written in metaphorical blood.

My first book, Ghostbird, was published in March this year. It took me years to write, rewrite & eventually submit. It got rejected; I rewrote it, resubmitted & so forth. It was hard, hard work & eventually it paid off. I got a publishing deal with Honno, the Welsh Women’s Press. I think I can safely say, even if it isn’t your cup of tea, my book is easy to read.

I’m currently editing my second. I began writing it approximately eighteen months ago. The first draft was completed in roughly ten months which seemed ridiculously fast until I recognised I must have learned a few tricks on the way. (And there’s nothing like being published to make you want to write another book!) After I’d written the second draft (& edited the hell out of it) I submitted it to my editor, the gracious & scarily perceptive Janet Thomas. Her input was, as it always is, positive with added ‘buts.’

‘Buts’ are what a great editor excels at. ‘Buts’ are what they say after, ‘I love this part…’ It’s when the light bulbs go on, the boxes get ticked & the writer realises she still has work to do. It doesn’t matter because the solutions to the ‘buts’ make her heart sing.

This is my third draft – a deeply focused edit involving a good deal of rewriting based on Janet’s wise advice. I have excavated the layers beneath, accessed my authentic story; I’m doing the best I can for my characters. I hope to have this version finished by the end of the month. It will still be scrutinised again & possibly taken apart.

And here’s my point. The initial idea for our stories often comes out of somewhere unexpected. They take us by surprise, fire us up & it’s incredibly exciting. (I had the idea, characters & most of the story outlined for this current book in two days!) It’s the filling that takes the time. Writing a book is hard graft. There is more to it than a great idea. And a padded outline isn’t a story, a single draft isn’t enough. Neither is a second proofread, friend-read one. Until it’s been picked apart by someone with no agenda other than to make the story the best it can possibly be it remains a half-formed thing.

Unless one is Margaret Atwood – or someone of that calibre – an easy, quickly written story is a draft. Unedited, it grates on the eye, has the reader reaching for her metaphorical black pen. If we love our characters, have faith in our story why would we opt for easy? In my view, easy is lazy. Nothing worth doing comes without effort; least of all writing a book. It takes time, dedication & resolve.

anne-sexton

The title of this piece references the debut novel by Eimear McBride – A Girl is a Half-Formed Thing. It’s an extraordinary book, innovative & challenging, written in a mind- bending style that’s demands every iota of your attention. Once you give it, fall into the flow & joy of the prose, you realise this is a book that can only have taken the writer on the hardest of paths.

Writing never stops being hard but I reckon it’s the closest thing to bliss I’ve experienced. I’ve just finished reading a book that made me cry (in a good way), shake my head at the perfection of it. It wasn’t written & published in a few months. It has excellence, faultless research & attention to detail on every page. As I read, the pages turned by themselves, the words conjured spells & this morning when I came to the end, I stroked the cover & seriously considered going back to the beginning.

The book? It’s by Louise Beech & called The Mountain in My Shoe. I’ll be reviewing it soon, if I can resist reading it again.

In plain sight

11 Sunday Sep 2016

Posted by Carol Lovekin in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Ghostbird, Lesbian Characters, Lesbians, Reviews, Writing

Island Life, Word Birds & Process #20

One or two kind people, when reviewing Ghostbird, have commented on my portrayal of same-sex relationships.

‘…Lili falls in love with another woman … and that’s it: it isn’t swept under the carpet nor does it take over the narrative, it’s just one of the many elements in the novel’s tapestry, treated as completely normal, and it’s beautiful…’ Carolyn Percy

The fact that some reviewers have noted my handling of a lesbian relationship errs on the notional is gratifying. Equally, that so few have remarked on it at all is testament to my intention.

When I began writing the book, I hadn’t consciously decided Lili would be gay. I’m not sure when I did make the decision. Like so many women in my life, she just is. Lili is gay the same way some people are straight. Don’t quote me on this, but my guess is the world is teeming with lesbians. They’ve been around for as long as women’s stories have been told. Often hidden, invariably in plain sight.

l-5

Lesbians, dear reader, are everywhere.

As I wrote the story, it occurred to me that unconscious or not, writing a gay character afforded me the opportunity to ‘normalise’ her. As in, not make a big thing about it. Rather than explain her, simply write her, the way I was writing my other characters. (I didn’t feel the need to explain how Violet or Mrs Guto-Evans  were heterosexual.)

I’m doing it again in my new story. And I’m not explaining it.

Murder on the dance floor

04 Sunday Sep 2016

Posted by Carol Lovekin in Uncategorized

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Ballet, Crow, Drafts, Editing, Ghostbird, Snow Sisters, The Kindness of Authors, Titles, Word Birds

Island Life, Word Birds & Process #19

It’s less about having two left feet and more that I’m putting my dancing shoes on the wrong ones. (And me a trained ballerina … at least I know what bloodied toes feel like…)

In the aftermath of the excitement, the reality of this edit is setting in. I’m still committed and as excited as I was last week. The task is nonetheless daunting. That said, I stuck to the plan and at the crack of Thursday’s new moon, embarked on my new draft. I’ve abandoned an entire plot-line. (It ought never to have been there frankly, but at the time it seemed like a great idea.)  Huge chunks of backstory are being flung out or set aside to be rewritten as good old ‘show not tell.’

And my title has gone, largely because the story wasn’t about … well, it wasn’t… Knowing what it is about makes the possibility of whatever mayhem lies ahead less scary. (The new title is lush!)

My crow is back – it’s September and the leaves on the birch tree are beginning to shed. I can see her – my favourite word bird – on the topmost branch, a reminder that it’s up to me and any time I’m up for it, I can join in.

heart crows

In other news – later in the day, the divine Amanda Jennings – author of In Her Wake – messaged me to the effect she’d been featured on BBC Radio Berkshire recommending Ghostbird! She called it ‘poetic,’ ‘a beautifully written hug’ and ‘utterly haunting.’ Being discussed on the radio was a bit of thrill and no mistake.

But, like a ballerina, a writer is only as good as her newest dance. Pass me the plasters, Marjory; I can feel the old fouetté rond de jambe en tournant coming on…

ballet shoes

On reviewing (& reviews)

21 Sunday Aug 2016

Posted by Carol Lovekin in Uncategorized

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Books, Ghostbird, Reviewing, Reviews, Virginia Woolf

Island Life, Word Birds & Process #17

The other day I got my first 2* review. (Like many of them often are, it’s not entirely about the story or even the writing & therefore vaguely amusing.) That said, no writer wants them but in a way, they keep us grounded. Can’t please all of the people & so forth…

I never used to review books – not in detail. Whenever I enjoyed one, I star-rated it on Amazon & added a few lines. Once I began receiving ARCs, if I loved one, I made a proper effort. (It’s a privilege to be given a book for free – not an entitlement.)

Being published changes things – you realise how important reviews actually are. Not least in Amazon Land where ratings are God. (I keep my views on the politics of this to myself since I have no power to change anything.) Over the months, from publication deal for Ghostbird to release date & onward, I’ve made friends with many terrific writers on Twitter & Facebook. The reciprocal nature of the support network on social media has encouraged me to review good books in more detail.

I know very quickly if a book is for me or not, often after the first paragraph. As I’m fairly choosy, I’m rarely disappointed. In the event I am, I put it down to experience & move on. If I dislike a book I don’t review it. ‘Playing nicely’ is my online mantra & the view that ‘bad reviews are useful’ is one I strongly disagree with. Bad reviews can break vulnerable writers & where Amazon is concerned, really do affect ratings.

Currently, I’m reading Virginia Woolf in Manhattan by Maggie Gee. It was published two years ago to mixed criticism. (The hardback edition has a pretty dust-jacket reminiscent of the style Vanessa Bell’s adopted to illustrate her sister’s books.) To a degree, I accept that the premise of the book (Mrs Woolf returning from the dead & hanging out with a 21st century novelist in New York) is a colossal conceit. As a life-long admirer of Virginia Woolf I dislike any liberties being taken with her memory, but I have to say, I’m thoroughly enjoying this book.

And I intend saying so.

Maggie-Gee

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